How can I help someone with depression?

Helping someone with depression can be frustrating when nothing you do seems to work. Here is guidance based on what actually helps:

What helps: — Consistent presence: do not disappear when the person is not responding. Keep in gentle, regular contact, showing you are there whenever they need you through actions, not just words. — Active, non-judgmental listening: do not try to fix things, do not minimize (it will pass, other people have it worse), do not give unsolicited advice. Sometimes just listening is everything. — Concrete support: offer specific help instead of let me know if you need anything. Can I pick something up from the pharmacy for you? or Can I come with you to your appointment? tend to work much better. — Encourage treatment: help the person seek professional support if they have not already, without excessive pressure that could create resistance. — Take care of yourself: supporting someone with depression is exhausting. You need support too.

What does NOT help (but well-meaning people often say anyway): — Just think positive, or be grateful for what you have — I know someone who had it worse and got better on their own — You just need to get out of the house, or exercise, and so on — Pressuring them to show up at social events before they are ready — Disappearing because you do not know what to say

If the person expresses thoughts of death: bring it up directly, do not put it off, and help them get urgent professional support right away.